"Upgrades" ( 4 x 03 )

So far, the season’s been great… even though I’ve only seen two episodes! But thus far, very impressive. Looking forward to another episode… no predictions for this one, though; could be anything.

At the SGC base, the a Tok’ra woman comes through the Stargate, and her name is Anise. At the Hangout, she shows them these armbands from a race called the Atoneeks. Little is known of the race, but Carter (AUGH FEELINGS AGAIN) remembers them through Jolinar. The armbands are alleged to give the wearers incredible speed and strength.

The catch? They don’t work for the Tok’ra nor the Goa’uld. …Which is why they’ve brought three for SG-1. (No, Teal’c doesn’t get one. ‘Cause of Junior and all. That’s okay, Teal’c, you’re amazing just the way you are.)

Hammond wants to slow down and study these things a little more, but Anise is eager to start the experiments. (That sounds like trouble.)

O’Neill is the first to get an armband, and it’s so far so good. He goes off and has a little boxing match with Teal’c, and it’s going unusually well. In fact, he takes one good swing…

…and knocks Teal’c out! What the what!

Back in the infirmary, Teal’c is physically fine, but his pride is.. uh… well, let’s just say it’s been thoroughly damaged, and that’s not something Junior can fix. O’Neill, on the other hand, is feeling better than ever. Not only is his strength measured at five times that of a normal human, but his cognitive abilities are heightened, too.

Carter and Jackson get their bands next, and Jack discovers he can finish a book at blinding speed. Carter notices that she has enhanced vision during the night, as well.

Fraiser has some issues with how this experiment is coming along, though. She doesn’t feel that Anise is sharing everything that she knows, and it’s worrying her a bit. And you can’t really blame her – the last time we got together with the Tok’ra, they were willing to sacrifice three of SG-1 in order to destroy Netu and therefore Sokar. (It’s okay, Jacob, no one could blame you for them, you’re still bra’tac.)

Back in his office, Jackson realizes what the inscription on the armbands says:
“With great power comes great responsibility.”

They once again are in the infirmary, and Fraiser voices her concerns to Anise: Carter, O’Neill, and Jackson all have a sort of virus, raised body temperatures, and high amounts of adrenaline. Anise dismisses these, but she allows Fraiser to remove them.

One little issue: They’re not coming off.

The three in SG-1 continue to experiment with their abilities, but it seems they are almost addicted to the armbands. This is, of course, very concerning to Fraiser and Hammond, and so they confine the three to a room.

So, breaking orders, what does SG-1 do but break out of the base and go to a restaurant to satisfy their new-found protein cravings. They each order a ridiculous amount of food (even Teal’c would balk at four steaks for one person). Carter realizes that they haven’t even considered the fact that they’ve defied orders, and… Well, it seems they’ve got a bit of a hero complex now.

Gets worse. They manage to spark up a huge bar fight, too.

Jack’s words? “Well, this is a cliché.”

Back on base, we get a funny line from Hammond: “I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid.”

Fraiser’s more worried now than ever, as she’s seen evidence of future organ failure, but even SG-1 (they’re in big trouble now) can’t explain it. Anise comes in, and she’s all ready to send them off to go destroy a new ship of Apophis’. Hammond catches on that this has been the Tok’ra’s purpose all along, but SG-1 doesn’t much care.

While the three armband-ers research it in confinement, Hammond talks it over with Teal’c, who confirms that this new vessel is a greater threat than anything they’ve faced before. (DOOM.) He of course insists that if the rest of SG-1 will not be allowed to go, he’ll go alone, but Hammond declines, saying (rightfully so) it’d be little more than a suicide mission.

And the armband-ers? They’ve got their own plan. Since they’re so ridiculously fast, they could just zip in, blow the pipes, and zip out.

Okay, I’m sorry, but if your ship is that easy to destroy, you’ve got issues.

They break into the control room and fire up the ‘Gate. Teal’c tries to stop them in the Launch room, but they dash off before he can.

SG-1 takes out all the guards pretty much with their bare fists and get into the ship with no complications. I think this is going far too well. It’s too easy. Jackson runs off to grab a couple naquadah blocks, and as O’Neill and Carter go off to plant the C4, she realizes it’s getting… a little… warm.

Oh snap. That’s not good.

There are force shields, but they can break through them easily.

They meet back up with Jackson, and he collapses, and the armband comes off automatically. They’re apprehended by a couple of Serpent Guards, and who should show up in the nick of time but TEAL’C! He takes Jackson away to safety while Carter and O’Neill buy them time. But as they’re on their way out, Carter collapses and can’t get past the force shield. Jack realizes that, well, he can’t either. They both collapse, and Jack realizes they’re separated with two minutes before the place blows.

Carter tells him to get out of here, but he vehemently refuses, instead trying desperately to break her out, though his efforts are all futile. (Well, “We don’t leave anyone behind,” and all that.)

A blast rocks the facility, and they meet Teal’c and Jackson back at the entrance. Just in time, they escape the blast radius and Teal’c secures the ‘Gate. He dials out, hitting anyone who tries to stop them with a Zat gun.

At long last, SG-1 comes back through the ‘Gate, shamefaced and embarrassed… except, of course, for Teal’c, who’s quite smug about the situation. In fact, he’s so cocky right now, all he can really say is:

“I have no need to apologize.”

Haha, yeah, you tell ‘em, Teal’c. You got them out of there with nothing but a zat’nik’tel and your natural abilities.

Final thoughts… So, the moral of the story is, don’t put weird things on your arms, even if they make you feel great, because in the end they’ll just bite you in the behind and make your life hell.

Unless, of course, you don’t get one, in which case you can just hang back and laugh at your teammates as you save their behinds because they got cocky and thought they could do anything.

Obviously, I’m the kind of person who appreciates using your head rather than your technology, no matter how nice it may be. Yes, it’s true that without the armbands, SG-1 likely wouldn’t have been able to blow that ship as easily as they were with them, but they’ve done all sorts of crazy stuff with nothing. Those Replicators? The two Goa’uld ships in the second season premiere? Hathor? Saving the freaking ASGARD HOMEWORLD? All it had taken was some strategically place C4 and a bit of luck and they were fine. I think, if anything, this mission has made them realize they don’t need silly little things like technology. What Thor told Carter about how the Asgard were literally too complex of thinkers to defeat the Replicators comes immediately to mind. It, in fact, took simpler technology to kill those nasty little bugs.

What I’m trying to get at is that good-old-fashioned ingenuity has always won out in the end. Maybe, though, SG-1 just needed to realize it… the narcotic-like effects of the armbands aside.

You still can’t blame Teal’c for being smug as hell when he came back through with the rest of the team.

There is one other interesting thing I feel the need to point out:

The Tok’ra have, once again, almost unnecessarily risked the lives of the SG-1 team members. After all, it was Anise who insisted that they start the experiments right away. Between that and the Netu mission, I’m pretty sure relations could be strained from here on out.

REFLECTION/PREDICTION THINGY

(SG-1 recovers… and Teal’c kind of gloats.)

Carter: Guh… My head hearts.

Jackson: My back hurts.

O’Neill: My pride hurts.

Teal’c: Then you seem to be in relatively decent condition, O’Neill. Would you care to join me in a boxing match?

O’Neill: (He glares at Teal’c, who is trying (and failing) to hide a smirk.) Bite me.