“Ascension” ( 5 x 03 )

The last three; four episodes in the series have been crazy jam-packed with emotion and action and just awesomeness in general, but if I’m right, it’s time to take a little step back from all the craziness and just back to Stargate as we’re used to it. And you know what? That’s okay with me.

We start off on a planet, lying mostly in ruins, and Jackson’s discovered some kind of structure with a language on it he can’t figure out. (Oh my goodness! No, Daniel, I’m just kidding. Calm down.)

Carter, meanwhile, has found some kind of advanced… something, and she’s going to keep fiddling with it while Teal’c and Jack go check out the town ruins. Suddenly, there’s a flash, and Jackson goes back to find her lying collapsed on the floor.

Noes!

Back in the infirmary, Fraiser says that Carter seems fine, but she also fairly points out that she’s due for a break.

Meanwhile at the Hangout, O’Neill, Jackson, Hammond, and some… guy I don’t recognize talk about the device Carter found. They’re not sure what it is, but the suspicion is that it’s a weapon. (I’m thinking a weapon that destroyed the planet, and that’s why it’s in ruins… but that’s just me.) Carter joins them and says that the power core is gone from whatever it is. (By the way, the guy I didn’t know is Col. Reynolds, who’s now part of SG-16.) While SG-16 and Daniel take the mission to find out what’s going on there, the rest of SG-1 is on leave.

Carter’s annoyed, but we do get a funny between her and Jack:

Carter: “Tense? Me? I’m not tense. …Am I?” (Lowering her voice) “…When did you first notice?”

O’Neill: “As we met.”

So she goes home (nice house, Carter) and wow it is weird to see her in civilian clothing. As she’s brushing her teeth, she suddenly gets the feeling… she’s not alone…

(Ooo, creepy!)

And we the viewer get the idea that she’s being watched..!

The next morning, she retrieves her paper and

GREG STILLSON WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

(…Ahem. Sean Patrick Flanery is apparently a guest star this episode. For the record, he played Greg Stillson on USA Network’s The Dead Zone, which I must say he was most excellent in. He was also the lead in Powder and had a role in The Boondock Saints. In other words, I really like him and I find it amazing he’s on Stargate right now.)

The strange not-Greg-Stillson greets Carter from across the street and he’s acting kind of creepy stalker-ish.

Okay, so he’s not a political slimeball crazy man arch-nemesis-of-Johnny-Smith, but he’s kinda creepy.

Once back inside, Carter calls Jackson, and expresses to him her dissatisfaction with leave.

And then CREEPY MAN is back. Inside her house.

…Something tells me creepy man is not from this planet.

Gets worse: He’s been here since last night. His name’s Orlin, and, yup, he’s from that planet we were just at. Gets better: He can phase through objects. (Whoa!)

And… he has feelings for her. He’s in love with her.

Later that day, a bunch of SGC personnel are at her house, and she talks to Jack about what happened. They set up cameras, and somehow I don’t think that’ll make a difference.

Back on base, Teal’c keeps an eye on the security cams in Carter’s house while Jackson works on translations. Daniel has concluded that the device they found is indeed a weapon. But where it’s originally from? They’re not here.

At her house, Carter comes home, and of course Orlin shows himself when all the cameras are gone. (Typical.) He says the planet they deemed 636 is actually “Velona” to the natives. (Was, rather.) Apparently, the reason she passed out is because he tried to do some kind of spirit-meld (I’m thinking mind-meld here… VULCANS YAY) with her. And then he flatters her further.

And wants to try that spirit-meld thing again. He’ll leave if she agrees, so of course she does, and his body shifts into some crazy glowing thing (reminds me of Oma Desala actually… hey, he said he was “Ascended”… is there a connection?) and she has some kind of epiphany.

The next day, she approaches O’Neill and he reluctantly admits to her that since no one’s seen what she has, they all pretty much think she’s crazy. However, maybe if she can gather enough information on it, things will be better.

In her office, she’s back to work trying to figure out the weapon. While the Pentagon’s pressuring the SGC to figure it out, she’s not so keen on that: She thinks it could be just as dangerous for us.

She goes home and stalker-Orlin’s back. (God, he’s so innocent-looking but he’s so creepy!) The doorbell rings, and when he reveals to her that he’s renounced his ascendancy, she… shoves him in a closet. (Ahaha, oh Carter, you have such class.) She answers the door, and it’s Jack and Teal’c! Teal’c has a super-spiffy cowboy hat on.

O’Neill: “We brought pizza and a movie.”

Teal’c: “Star Wars.”

O’Neill: “He’s seen it, what, eight times?”

Teal’c: “Nine.”

O’Neill: “Nine times! If Teal’c likes it, it’s got to be okay.”

Carter: “You’ve never seen Star Wars?”

O’Neill: “You know me and sci-fi.”

Aahh, this is why I love this show, haha. I love how ironic it is that Jack’s not really into sci-fi at all but he’s living it nonetheless. The pop culture references are just priceless. (And of course Teal’c has become well-versed in it all..!)

More lulz ensue when Jack guesses that she has a date (oh come on Carter just tell him!) and the two leave her with a pizza and go back to Jack’s car.

O’Neill: “So, now what?”

Teal’c: “I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-o.”

O’Neill: “…Call Daniel.”

And excuse me while I DIE LAUGHING.

Carter and Orlin talk over lunch, and she finds out that he’s the one who taught the Velonans how to build the weapon. The problem was that, after they defeat the Goa’uld with it, they started to conquer other planets. The other Ascendants retaliated against him and destroyed the planet and banished him there.

…And there’s someone listening in on her…

Back at base…

OMIGOD Q?!?!?

NO WAY!

No way is there JOHN DE LANCIE and SEAN PATRICK FLANERY in the SAME EPISODE!!

Okay, you guys, this is just nuts, because JDL plays my favourite Star Trek recurring guest character pretty much ever, “Q”. I love Q. Love love love him. De Lancie is just a phenomenal actor. Oh my gosh, YAY!

Ahem, anyways, they’re talking about powering up the weapon, but Carter and Jackson vehemently disagree. Carter has two weeks to prove her case that it’s dangerous, but our wonderful friend Q Colonel Simmons still thinks they need to test it ASAP.

Carter gets home and Orlin (go away dangit!) and she go take a walk. He convinces her that they need to find a way to stop the test fire, and she agrees.

Nine days later,  they’ve decided to test the weapon… now. Simmons is onto her (oh, you and your stupid little Q abilities! You’re probably working with Slimeball Maybourne!) and, yup, they’ve got pictures of her and Orlin. And they’re ready to take him in.

With Special Forces waiting outside, Carter goes into her house and finds Orlin… has constructed a makeshift Stargate in her basement. (Okay, now that’s just… well, the best word I can think of is “ghetto”! But it’s still crazy impressive that he was able to do that with stuff he bought off the internet.) They go through the mini-Stargate… and then Special Forces shows up.

They go to the site of the weapons, and sure enough, our Ascendant friends have shown up. Orlin ultimately jumps in, takes a gunshot, and unplugs the weapon. And then he ascends once again, effectively saving the rest of us, too…  And the weapon? It’s destroyed.

Final thoughts… JOHN DE LANCIE. SEAN PATRICK FLANERY. LOOOOOVE!

Okay, I admit… I found the presence of these two gentlemen and Teal’c’s awesome cowboy hat a bit more interesting than the story itself. I wasn’t terribly impressed, but we did learn some interesting things that really had more to do with the bigger plot than this specific episode:

Teal’c is clearly back to being himself. He and O’Neill (and the rest of the team for that matter) seem to be on good terms, so the whole Rite of Mal’sharran must have been entirely successful. This, of course, pleases me greatly. So do his shirts. And hats. (You guys should see me; I’m still giggling.)

Despite the fact that there aren’t any Replicators here right now and Apophis, Heru’ur, Cronus, and Sokar (among others) are all dead, the Pentagon still feels there are some really big threats out there we need to defend ourselves again. I personally don’t see the Goa’uld attacking any time soon (sounds like they’re dealing with each other lately) and the Replicators are really far away… But I suppose things can only be hunky-dory on Earth for so long.

And finally, we find out about… the Ascendants. (That’s what they’re called, right? Well, that’s what I’m calling them.) Really powerful nature-controlling alien people that usually look like wisps of light. I’m assuming that’s what Oma Desala is/was, and as they explained, she was banished for helping others Ascend… did she allow the harcesis to Ascend? It would seem that she would have in order to save him from his “genes” as it were, but it’s an interesting idea. I have no doubt we’ll see the Ascendants again.

Overall, a pretty interesting episode. Like I said, I loved seeing our two special guest stars (John de Laaanciiieee!!) . Not quite sure how keen I am on the whole pseudo-love-interest for Carter, but I suppose it is what it is, and now it’s… over.

Oh, and I hope the boys had fun at that ring of Jell-o. Watching. Participating. Whatever.

PREDICTION/REFLECTION THINGY

(So, what did the guys end up doing?)

Carter: (Joining her team at a table) Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Rough day.

Jackson: It’s okay, Sam. We all know.

Carter: I never did get to ask you… what did you guys end up doing after I turned you away because of… um…

Teal’c: We observed a most fascinating spectacle.

O’Neill: Well, I’d say more than merely observed…

Carter: (Lifting her eyebrows) Care to divulge?

Teal’c: I believe we are sworn to silence on the details of the event as a code of our brotherhood.

(Carter stares at O’Neill.)

Carter: ‘Bro code’?

O’Neill: Well… ah…

Jackson: Oh, damn, I think I just found a stray piece of Jell-o in my hair.