"Enemies" ( 5 x 01 )

So! Last time on Stargate, we captured a Ha’tak vessel, blew up a star, lost a member to Jerkface Apophis, and got flung four million light years away from Vorash, right next to the snake himself.

And I’ve got a bad, bad, bad feeling about this.

Sure enough, everything on the Ha’tak vessel is non-operational. Things like, say, hyperdrive, are all shot. Figuring they might have a chance to get out of this alive, Jacob lets Selmak take over and they hail Apophis. Unfortunately, the jerkface doesn’t feel like negotiating (they never do) and plans to kind of destroy them.

Well, this is unfortunate.

Suddenly, just as Apophis’ ship is firing on them (and, uh, not hitting), another ship comes up from behind them and fires on the enemy. (ASGARD!? Oh please, please, please let it be the Asgard! Or some other cool person! If it’s Thor he’ll know to save Teal’c, right?)

Anyways, Jacob moves the ship out of sensor range, and he and Sam work to fix the shields, and they succeed. Hyperdrive isn’t as well off, and they already used the backups.

Jack’s feeling guilty for not seeing the ambush on Vorash coming, and Daniel tries to console him with the idea that, “I’m sure you did your best.” I would never blame O’Neill for this, but I have no doubt he’s taking it pretty hard right now, even though he doesn’t show it. He and Teal’c have a dynamic that no one else in their little team really has, and he probably feels like he’s let his friend down.

Meanwhile, back at the SGC, the Tok’ra stop by and give Hammond the bad news. Re’nal doesn’t think any of them have survived, but there is one good thing: The System Lords have been thrown into chaos. But despite her words, Hammond’s not giving up:

“You’ll forgive me for holding on hope a little longer. SG-1 has a surprisingly good habit of beating the odds.”

That’s the spirit!

The hyperdrive is still off-line, but they’re going to try to get away. They move back into sensor range, and the only ship out there is… Apophis. Well, darn it anyways.

But here’s where it gets interesting:

There are no life signs on board.

(Teal’c?!)

Carter, O’Neill, and Jacob transport over to the other ship… and there are dead bodies everywhere. Carter hears a clicking and OOOHHH MY GOD REPLICATORS

EVERYWHERE!

Well, there go my hopes of the Asgard coming to save the day. And now we know what that third ship was. …However, there is also the notion that Apophis got his face eaten off by a Replicator. Teehee…

The three quickly go back over to the Ha’tak and high-tail it out of there after rigging the self-destruct.

Whew!

And hey, we’ve got hyperdrive again!

…But there’s a ship on sensors. Another one. A cargo ship. Jacob hails them and

IT’S TEAL’C!!

…But something doesn’t seem quite right.

When Jack goes to embrace his friend in the cargo bay…

…Teal’c pulls a gun on him.

And then JERKFACE APOPHIS shows up.

“Well done, Teal’c. Finally, you have resumed your rightful position as my First Prime.”

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!

Teal’c (nooo, this can’t be him! It can’t!) forces the three of SG-1 into a holding cell and when Jack tries to figure out exactly what’s going on, thinking this is all some elaborate plan, Teal’c violently backhands him. Jackson tries to talk some sense into him, too, but to no avail.

I hate that dead look in his eyes. Just absolutely hate it.

But I hate what he says next even more:

“It makes me ill to think I was forced to pretend to be your friend. So many times I saved your life when I wished I could watch you die.”

Okay, now that is NOT Teal’c. It’s NOT. That’s not even his personality at his worst.

Daniel even brings up the brainwashing of Rya’c, but even that’s not getting through to him.

YOU KNOW WHAT SICKENS ME, TEAL’C?

SEEING YOU LIKE THIS.

Meanwhile, Jacob, armed with a zat, sneaks around. (Leave it to him to escape okay. Let’s just hope he can rescue SG-1… and Teal’c for that matter!)

Teal’c approaches Apophis (as much as I hate to see him in that Serpent Guard armour, it is really awesome-looking; not to mention the epic cape) and goes after our Tok’ra friend.

Jacob finds the holding cell, and with every intention of getting the three of SG-1 out of there, is suddenly apprehended by Teal’c and Apophis’ cronies.

Well, there goes that plan.

And then… the ship starts to shut down.

OH MY GOD MORE REPLICATORS.

AAAUUGH.

They must’ve stowed away on the cargo ship!

(Yeah, Teal’c, I bet you wish you had your silly little Tau’ri friends now, don’t you?!)

A big, fat, larger-than-usual Replicator crawls into their cell, and they all escape through the small opening it’s created. The good thing is, Apophis can’t escape any more than we can, and of course those nice little zats don’t work.  Apophis leaves his men behind at the mercy of the Replicators… why? Because he’s an honourless jerkface.

While Jacob and Daniel go to secure the cargo ship, Carter and O’Neill try to find Teal’c so they can bring him back with them. (Hey, one shot with a zat should clear him right up, right?)

Jack rolls a shock grenade down the hallway, but Teal’c’s still not down.

…And then Jack shoots him.

Junior better be workin’ overtime because IF TEAL’C DIES…

They rush over and… he’s alive, WHEW, thank god! Carter and O’Neill quickly take him up and to the cargo bay.

And our good friend Apophis? He’s frantically trying to get control back, but the bugs are coming!

(YOU had it coming!)

And I love the freaked-out look on his face.

Just as they get Teal’c on board and tied up, the ship resumes hyperspeed and is back on its way. Carter, O’Neill, Jackson, and Jacob head out, and they figure out that we’re headed towards Sokar’s old stomping grounds. And us? We’re going many, many times faster than we should be.

Hey, that means that we’ll be back home soon!

But that also means… the Replicators will be there, too.

We plan to do the same as last time and crash the ship into the planet, thus destroying the bugs, while they escape with the cargo ship.

When the three make it to the engine room, there’s  FREAKING HUUUUGE REPLICATOR (like, literally, twenty or so feet tall, at best) but it’s… sleeping. (“Sleep mode”?) Carter and O’Neill shoot down the deceleration drive, and then all hell breaks loose.

The biggest Replicators I think I’ve ever seen chace after them, and holding them off is proving easier said than done. They don’t just break apart like the ones that had been on the Beliskner. They fight their way back through a hail of metal pieces and Jacob rings them aboard.

YAY!!

AND WE’RE OUT!

And the last we see of Apophis… is bugs crawling around his shield… and his enraged scream… as the ship crashes into the planet…

Haaahaha. What a great way for him to finally go out.

YOU BETTER BE DEAD THIS TIME, MAN.

But Teal’c? He’s not himself yet. He doesn’t even believe Jack when he tells him Apophis is dead.

“Gods cannot be killed.”

Final thoughts… Sometimes, you just want to punch a snakehead in the face.

…That said, this was an epic season premiere.

We had Replicators and the Goa’uld and epic space explosions and great acting and writing and directing and… just perfection! Sure, not everything about it story-wise made me all that happy, but that’s just because I love Teal’c so much and hate to see him acting so out-of-character.

The first thing I’m trying to figure it is what the heck Apophis actually did to our poor friend here. Yes, I know he was put in the sarcophagus, but we’re talking what looks to me like a complete personality change. This isn’t just awakening some feelings and burying the others. It’s my understanding that Teal’c had always been a man of principle and that he’d simply been waiting for the right allies to come along… or something like that.

I mean, the guy went from “We are brothers” to “it makes me ill”. This isn’t even the quiet (or not so quiet) venom we saw against people like Tanith… or Terok, for that matter. It’s something much, much colder. And much scarier.

I believe this also speaks very strongly of Goa’uld nature at its worst. Apophis did far worse than merely end Teal’c’s life… though one could argue that the Teal’c we all know and love (and if you don’t love him excuse me while I check the back of your neck for any incriminating evidence) is dead. He turned him against his comrades; his friends. He made him his ever-loyal First Prime. And we all know how mentally tough Teal’c is. I just find it crazy how far he was swayed. It seems that the Goa’uld are the ultimate manipulators.

I shudder to think what any of them could do to anyone else in the future.

Speaking of Tanith… If I just missed something the Tok’ra said to Hammond, or simply wasn’t paying attention, can someone tell me if that slimeface (See? He gets a nickname too) lived or not? Did he die in the original explosion of Apophis’ vessel? Or did get take a shuttle or something away when they were still back near Vorash? Because if he just died in the original explosion, or in the supernova or something, I’m sorry, but that’s just not going to fly with me. Teal’c was already more-or-less denied revenge against Cronus (it was his android copy that made the final shots) and certainly Apophis. Does he ever get to exact revenge on anyone?

I’m curious as to how he’ll react when he finally comes back to his senses and realizes that Apophis died. Well, I presume he died. He had Replicators swarming around him as the ship crashed. (SO EPIC.)

AH! REPLICATORS! Our next order of business. Y’know, I’m kind of having a love-hate thing for the bugs now. I love ‘em because they inadvertently helped us get rid of Apophis. I also loved the look on the jerkface’s… face when they first entered behind him. They also got us back home really, really quickly. Of course, we lost our precious Ha’tak vessel in the process… but that’s okay. And the Replicators have, once again, been thwarted in their attempt to invade our galaxy. Well, kind of. I suppose they could take whatever ship they like and just zoom on over here…

Also: MASSIVE BUGS. They’re kind of gross but really awesome and very, very scary. I loved the combination of small and huge Replicators, all chasing after Carter, Daniel, and O’Neill in that final chase scene. So, so, so amazing. And, oh, do I wonder when we’ll see them next..!

I suppose the bottom line is that things are actually pretty good the big scheme of things. The Replicators aren’t here… yet. Apophis is probably (and it’s a BIG probably) dead. A couple other Goa’uld are dead, too. According to Re’nal, the System Lords are fighting again. (That’s a good thing.)

But since this is Stargate SG-1…

…What’s going to happen to Teal’c?

His little brainwashing by way of Jerkface Apophis seems to have been pretty complete. Of course this is also just a kudos to Chris Judge, but even that little bit of glimmer in his eyes was gone. He’s just nothing like we knew him to be. Of course, they might get him back to normal off-camera, but I’m hoping we get to see the process… whatever that may be. In any case, I hope that there are at least a couple lasting repercussions from this whole experience. As a character builder, I think it’s important.

Nothin’ like having your best friend shoot at you.

It just kind of sucks.

All in all, though? The best season finale/premiere combo since "Within the Serpent's Grasp".

REFLECTION/PREDICTION THINGY

(TEAL’C I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER.)

(Our annoying little Mary Sue friend Marie shows back up. Oh boy.)

Marie: TEEEEEAL’C I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER.

(Teal’c glares at her.)

Marie: What about all those fun adventure times you had with Jack?

(Teal’c glares at her.)

Marie: Um, okay, what about when you went fishing with him after you guys got stuck in that Interceptor together, even though there weren’t any fish in the pond?

(Teal’c glares at her.)

Marie: WOULD YOU STOP GLARING AT ME?

(Teal’c glowers at her.)

Marie: Okay. That’s it. That is the final straw. (Ahem) ‘A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet…’

Teal’c: SHEL KREE, TAU’RI!!

(Hey, Teal’c. If it makes you feel any better, I really loved that red-tinted armour. And the cape.)