"The Tomb" ( 5 x 08 )

That’s kind of creepy. “The Tomb”. An all we’ve got is an image of Carter with a P-90… Nothing new. I dunno. I got nothin’.

We start off in some kind of wrecked city, and Jackson’s trying to figure out how to open up an entrance, which is inscribed with a dead language. (How convenient.) But Carter’s found something interesting:

An empty pack of cigarettes.

(OH, I KNEW THE CIGARETTE SMOKING MAN WAS INVOLVED!! This proves everything!)

Nevermind. They’re Russian.

(…He could still be involved! I’ve got my eye on you, Krycek! Oh, Mulder, you would be so jealous of me right now.)

Back on base, SG-1 reports their findings to Hammond, but as far as we all know, the Russians closed down their ‘Gate after the “Watergate” incident. Turns out that four Russians disappeared just before the events of “Watergate”. Why 338, though?

That’s not important. What’s important is that there’s going to be a Russian team accompanying SG-1 back to 338. (Deanna? Are you coming, too?) Turns out that the Russians have been wanting to get more involved with us over here. (Ah, you see what I said about how an alliance would be good?) Jack’s not happy about the decision, but it’s too late. The Russians are coming!

(Sorry. That was lame.)

Carter tries to encourage O’Neill to just give this a chance, but he’s concerned about trust.  And then Jackson has a line that literally just had me cracking up laughing: “The Russians are coming.” (For the record, I am legitimately blogging this as I watch. Lots of pausing.)

They go to the Hangout and meet the Russian team, led by Colonel Zukhov, and his team is comprised of Major Vallarin, Lieutenant Marchenko, and Lieutenant Tolinev.

They sit down and Jackson explains how a Russian scientist, Britski, discovered ‘Gate coordinates for P2X-388 among Babylonian cuneiform. Zukhov and O’Neill get into an argument about use of the Stargate, but Hammond gets them back on topic, and when Jackson confirms he can get them in, it’s “go” time.

SG-1 and the Russian team move out, our guys in the lead, and there’s definitely some friction remaining between Zukhov and O’Neill, but they head out as well.

On 338, Jackson figures out the code, and pushes in the stone tablets, revealing a passageway. (A tomb?) However, it’s also crumbling. Teal’c goes with the Russian team, while they send Marchenko with SG-1. (See? We can so make this work. They’ll love Teal’c. Well, they should.)

SG-1 goes down one passageway, and they find… a body. Oh, ew. Something ate him.

(And now I’m getting visions of The Mummy again. Great movie, by the way.)

Meanwhile, the Russian team finds a sarcophagus. (Never a good sign.) They go to investigate it, and of course Zukhov steps the wrong way and the place starts to shake apart. (That’s why you should listen to Teal’c when he tells you to listen to Jack.) The door suddenly slams on Marchenko when he tries to escape, and… yeah, that’s not good.

They reconvene at the sarcophagus, but the only thing in there is a corpse.

…Well, that’s not something you see every day; a dead body in a sarcophagus. But this one, too, was eaten alive.

…And there’s something nasty in the ceiling..!

Jackson figures out that the priests of this land sealed their Goa’uld, Marduk, in the Sarcophagus with whatever creature ate him alive, so he probably relived that… over and over. Ew.

“Okay. That’s officially the worst way to go.”

You said it, O’Neill.

They pair off in order to try and find an exit: Teal’c with Zukhov, Carter with Tolinev, and Vallarin with O’Neill. Jackson’s going to try and translate the writing on the wall.

Carter and Tolinev find a sort of cocoon and OH GOD A HUGE SPIDER oh that’s nastier than Replicators, but of course it skitters off before they can see it.

Teal’c and Zukhov find the body of Dr. Britski, and he had the same fate as the other Russian. Zukhov takes Britski’s personal log, as well as a shiny round medallion of sorts… But Teal’c is not aware of the latter. Hm…

Back with our girls, Tolinev hears the huge spider again, and it attacks Tolinev. Teal’c takes her away to safety, but it gets worse:

The Goa’uld is in the freaking spider.

Oooh my GOOOOD.

Back with Daniel, he discovers a sketch in Britski’s log of the medallion Zukhov picked off of him, but the Russian denies knowledge of the object. (Uh, dude, this is kind of a bad time to lie.)

Carter and Teal’c go off to investigate, and they think they might have a blood trail to follow.

Okay, between Carter being able to sense the Goa’uld and Teal’c just being… Teal’c, they’ve got to be able to hunt down this thing and take it.

But Tolinev’s condition is worsening…

As they’re walking, some huge ugly slimy thing falls from the ceiling – dead. Teal’c prods it with a gun and then slices it open. No Goa’uld, though.

Oh, snap. Vallarin had gone off to investigate some skittering.

I’ve got a bad feeling there’s a snake among us.

When O’Neill and Zukhov hear this, they immediately suspect each other.

But oh, wait! Zukhov picked the “eye of Tiamat” (that medallion) off of Britski! Maybe it’s him.

But it’s Vallarin who finds a ribbon device. It’s him. I’m sure.

Daniel thinks that there’s a rings transporter around here, so that’s probably our way out, and Teal’c finds the crystals which control the rings.

Vallarin apprehends our two colonels and, yup, he’s the Goa’uld. He’s even got a nice little shield. When Marduk threatens to gun down O’Neill, Zukhov admits he has the Eye and… instead tosses the Goa’uld a grenade. (Yeah! You rock on, Zukhov!)

…And then the place starts to collapse… and Zukhov is buried.

(But Marduk/Vallarin is still alive!)

Just as they’re about to ring out, Marduk rushes in and vows his revenge, and what does Jack say?
“You know, you guys always say that.”

And as they ring out, Carter hits the C-4. Bye, bye Goa’uld!

Back on base, Tolinev is back on her feet and fine. But this fledgling alliance between the Americans and the Russians? Doesn’t look like it’s going to work out all that well…

Final thoughts… You know, just when I start to get all excited over this Russian-American alliance thing, it just kind of falls through and makes everything oh-so-frustrating. It’s an interesting social commentary of sorts in that we can kind of get along with the Tollans, and the Tok’ra, and even the Asgard, but when it comes to an old rivalry on our own planet, we can’t even get past it?

I feel like the primary conflict was between the two highest-ranking officers of each respective team – our wonderful colonels. Both O’Neill and Zukhov are fiercely patriotic, loyal men to their causes and nations’ ideals. However, when they as leaders seemingly aren’t willing to work with each other, how can they possibly expect the rest of their teams to do so? There were times when Zukhov had the right idea, and times when Jack was in the right. The point is that they each let their pride get in the way, and that’s really not something I believe we can afford when facing an enemy so different from us.

There’s also the little issue with the fact that all four members of SG-1 came back alive, and only one from the Russian team – and just barely. Now I won’t point fingers, but I really think if they’d stuck together and “watched each others’ sixes”, as it were, at least three of the four Russians would have survived. (Let’s face it, Marchenko was screwed when he rushed at the exit.) Whatever the case, I’m sure this will have a lasting strain on the relationship between the two nations.

And we thought the Tok’ra were difficult…

PREDICTION/REFLECTION THINGY

(Well… that didn’t go quite as planned.)

O’Neill: Kind of a sucky day when you think about it.

Carter: Gotta agree with you there, sir. Three fine officers were lost today.

O’Neill: Yeah, well maybe if they’d listened to me…

Jackson: Jack! Not this again!

O’Neill: I’m just sayin’!

Jackson: And I’m just sayin’, let it go!

Teal’c: Will I be required to separate you two?